I have now been qualified for slightly less than 5 months. In that time, I have learnt some hard and fast lesson about being a PICU Nurse. I have been apart of successful & unsuccessful arrests, I have made mistakes and owned up about it, which is super scary. Essentially, I realise that I am a really really junior nurse. But, a nurse I am, and gaining experience each shift I am doing.
What I have learnt is it takes time putting theory into practice. I am not as smart as people seem to think I am. Being dyslexic, I feel like I have to work hard! And I really worry when I struggle to learn something. But something I am realising now is that the first several months of being an NQN can feel like getting into a routine, and learning what to do in a situation. What as opposed to why. This stressed me out, because I like to know why, I like to have understanding, because knowledge is power. And not knowing is pants!
But now, finally, on occasion, I am starting to believe that I could be a half decent nurse. One of the band 7’s, Natalie, recounted an experience she had as a student nurse whilst in a tweet chat. She said “I had a busy patient in a cubicle, and I went home, drugs and obs all on time, balance right, handover went well. It was like a big ‘exhale’ I did it, it’s fine, I can do this!” And I am starting to believe that maybe I too will get there.
Admittedly, I have had some wobbles and shakes. But then I feel like I am making progress and that’s what matters. Being an NQN isn’t straight forward. But I am now starting to understand the “whys?” & “hows”. Don’t get me wrong. I have an absolutely *huge* way to go, but the theory I learnt in university is starting to click. And I enjoy what I do, and I think that is so so important. Sure, some days I feel like I am drowning, but I have never been in a mindset of “I’ve had enough and don’t enjoy my job.”